Today I cleaned my house and jeep which was very refreshing.
While I was putting stuff into my dryer (which is is one of those that sits on top of the washer) These letters that I never knew were there fell onto the floor.
The envelopes were all yellow and crinkly. Immediately I got so excited hoping it was going to be like that moment in the movie Amelie when she finds the cigar box from the 50s.
Well, they weren’t quite as old or quite as exciting, but exciting none the less. There were a whole bunch of bills and then one unopened card from December 2008.
I was pretty hesitant to open it just because it felt kind of intrusive, but then I decided whomever it belonged to has probably long forgot about it. It was hard to get open without destroying it’s innards, but it was a really cute Christmas card of someone’s dog named Tallulah. A really fluffy thing with reindeer horns. It was very cute.
Weird to think that no one ever found them because the guy who lived here before me was here for at least a year. He was kind of strange and dirty and let homeless people sleep in the yard though.
Anyway, only someone as sentimental as me could have gotten so much thrill out of finding some girl’s old Christmas cards and APS bills. It really makes me wonder how many people have lived in this place since it as built in the 1920s.
I’m going to post pictures of my little cottage home as soon as time allows.
"You know that point in your life when you realize that the house you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore…all of the sudden even though you have some place to put your shit, that idea of home is gone…or maybe its like this rite of passage…you will never have that feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, for your kids, for the family you start. It’s like a cycle or something. Maybe that’s all family really is: a group of people that miss the same imaginary place." -Andrew Largman, Garden State.
I want to find a home. Somewhere to feel loved thoroughly and endlessly. I think people search their whole lives for a place they can call home, for a connection with other people. I haven’t felt connected to this place in a long time. All my closest friends and family, those who I hold dearest to my heart, are so far away and out of reach.
I’ve outgrown Flagstaff. I’ve outgrown Arizona. I’m merely filling a space right now but I want to live up to my potential.
So, I guess the question is where do I go now!
Right now I’m brainstorming on these places:
Nashville, Tennessee- Music capital of the world! Potentially awesome. Maybe I’d acquire a sweet southern draw. That’d be cool. It seems like a different world in the south, Nashville is one of the only places I’d consider there…
Ashville, North Carolina- Cool college setting even if you’re not in college. North Carolina seems humble and beautiful. I like humble.
Maui, Hawaii- Cody makes me want to live an island life. It sounds dreamy, like time would slow down just by moving there and my mind would relax. No one is in a hurry in Hawaii and I like that. It sounds small and personal too.
Chicago, Illinois- Just because David lives there and he is pretty awesome, plus he said he would pay for my rent. Other than that, Chicago just sounds okay. It sounds cold and windy, kinda over that.
San Francisco, California- Most awesome city in the west. Probably not gonna move there just because it’s so expensive. Nice to consider though.
Denver or Boulder, Colorado- Sounds exactly like Flagstaff but about 100 times more awesome. Kinda want something completely different than Flag but CO would be pretty cool. It’s beautiful, I think Olive would like it.
London, England- London would be fantastic but maybe too far away. Also, I think I am probably too poor to afford the conversion rate. Boo. Again, amazing accents though.
Well, that’s what I’ve got for now. I think I will call many places my home in my life but I’m ready for something new right MEOW.
On a complete side note, I think all 99.99% of people from New Jersey SUCK. They are the rudest people I’ve ever had to deal with. If you are from New Jersey and you are reading this, thank you for making my 9-5 job more difficult than it has to be with your petty problems about UGG BOOTS! The .01% =my Uncle Steve and his family, who are very cute. They live in New Jersey but technically they are from Mass so maybe that is why they are dignified human beings.
In an attempt to “seal the deal” with myself, I am writing you all to inform you that I am going vegetarian! Don’t laugh or scoff, please. If you know me well you know that I am a regular-meat eater and indeed, I do love meat. If you know me even better you know that I love animals more! There are several reasons why I have decided to switch to this alternative life style. Please read on. For those of you saying, “Hey! We are supposed to eat meat!” I quote: "Yes, humans have a high level of intelligence. Yes, we created weapons for hunting and fire for cooking. Yes we found a way to mass-produce animals for consumption. However, if you study animals in the wild, you will note that they do not rely on anything other than their natural hunting ability, speed, strength, claws, teeth, and jaws. They have no tools or weapons. Look at your flimsy fingernails compared to a lion’s fangs. Compare your agility to that of a tiger. Compare the strength of your jaw to a wolf’s. Imagine yourself trying to run after an animal, catch it, and kill it using your bare hands, fingernails, teeth, and jaws. Not only would you look ridiculous, but you’d probably get your ass kicked, too. And even if you were successful, envision yourself eating the kill without the aid of an oven and silverware. Yes, the human brain allows us to stay removed from the process of hunting. But does this mean we are ‘evolved’ and ‘intelligent’ and should be eating animal flesh just because we can? Man’s ‘intelligence’ also created alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Should we drink, smoke, and use just because we can? Many meat eaters credit eating meat for our evolution from cavemen into what we are now. Even if this were the case and eating meat did help us evolve, look at what we evolved from. We looked like freakin’ apes and had massive heads, strong jaws, and brute strength.” -Skinny Bitch, Freedman and Barnouin. If this isn’t enough, I’ve always been somewhat aware of the torture factory farm animals are put through. However recently I’ve found new motivation to research these issues further and this is what I have discovered:
"Of the 10 billion land animals slaughtered each year in America for human consumption, nearly all of them come from factory farms. Factory farms that raise…animals in a very small space. There are no vast meadows or lush, green pastures. Animals are literally stacked on top of each other. This overcrowded, stressful environment causes chickens to peck at each other, so the ends of their beaks are seared off their faces using a hot knife….They all [animals] live in the filth of their own urine, feces, and vomit with infected, festering sores and wounds [from branding, castration, etc.]. To keep animals alive in these unsanitary conditions, armers must give them regular doses of antibiotics. Half of all the antibiotics made in the US each year are administered to farm animals, causing antibiotic resistance in the humans who eat them. "Humane" protocol calls for animals to be "stunned" before they are slaughtered. For cows, this means getting a metal bolt shot into the skull and then retracted. When done properly, using working equipment, this renders the cow unconscious. But time is money, and slaughterhouses operate at lightening speeds, some killing one animal every three seconds. Because thousands of frightened, struggling cows are not easy to stun, it is extremely common for a ‘stunner’ to miss his mark…"-Skinny Bitch, Freedman and Barnouin. I hope you will support me in this decision as it is a difficult one for me!! I need the help since I am a first timer with this and don’t have a lot of will-power when it comes to EATING. You probably know that. Thanks very much for reading.