Feeling a little lost these days. Not unhappy, not completely satisfied. Just existing. I don’t like that.
I miss my camera. It used to be attached to me at all times, an extension of my body. Now it’s covered in dust sitting on a shelf. I want to pick it up and revive it but I think I’ll let myself down. It’s been so long since creating anything I’m proud of. I miss that feeling.
I miss my friends.
I want to travel. Need to get this degree out of the way. 2.5 years until freedom. Financial chains.
I want to be a better person.
I want to go to church again.
I want to be honest and sincere. I’m ready to get rid of this cynical attitude.
Feeling scared of failure lately. I’m not sure what action I should take from here. I think I will try to spend some one on one time with my Nikon and go from there.
I finally mailed off my postcard collection, my entire collection of 60+ postcards! Somehow I’ve saved these for over eight or nine years in a box and haven’t done anything with them. I used to hang them on my wall when I was 13 years old, so the backs of all the postcards are covered with old pieces of tape. They are a little tattered and used up but somehow they’ve moved around with me all these years. It’s nice to finally send them off.
I decided to mail my collection to strangers. I was inspired by Postsecret in a way, but I decided I just wanted to send some nice things to people and hope that it will make someone somewhere a little happy. I like the idea of being a mysterious unknown person to someone in the world out there. I like the idea of not knowing who each card is going to and how that person will react. I think some people will smile, some people might just throw it away. I think I’d like to receive a random postcard in the mail with nice things on them.